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What if you would concentrate on things you actually want?

So do you concentrate on things you want, or what you actually don’t want?

I was reading recently myself and one sentence stuck into my head, and so I thought would be good to dig deeper and remind for all of us one simple, but very powerful truth. Somehow, at a times I believe we come up with the question: “What do I really want?”. We actually should know this already the best. Isn’t it? But once we feel somehow, this question comes up. So why is that? Maybe because we don’t have the peaceful feelings with ourselves and the life we live in? And one of the reasons why we still don’t have what we want is because, apparently, we know somehow better what we actually don’t want, and accidentally we concentrate on the wrong things.

Understanding what you truly want

Maybe you have it already?

At first this might look like “Duh, of course I know what I want”. But… Obvious things might be not the actual things of your own true desires. Of course we all want to live a wealthy and healthy life, but it is possible that we do copy other’s wishes instead of knowing ourselves and just later on we come up with the feeling that something is not right. If this kind of feeling came up once, most likely this feeling will come up again and then we start thinking, what if I want totally different things. What if my happiness is not what I am actually seeking for, what if I am copying someone else’s happiness, just because it looks right. I think we may copy others at first, just because we are not so sure yet of what we want, so to copy others is so much easier. But only at first. So I would suggest you, just stop for a second and ask yourself, if you are truly going towards the direction what actually fits you but not others. By the way, it’s very okay if your wishes doesn’t fit to someone else’s wishes.

It’s okay to be focused on you

The happiness we want to have, it’s only us who can define what actually means for us to be happy. I am sure you are happy already, at least you should, but maybe there is needed just a little bit more. Most likely you are going the right direction and you are following the higher you, but if you are reading this, most likely something is missing. And this something might be so little, but the fact is that, it’s missing and it feels not right. Understanding your true self might be a bit scary though, because as I mentioned before, things what you truly want most likely won’t fit in to things what others want. But understand this, it is really ohappy happykay.

Be truthful to yourself

Choosing your own path might be scary, because no one else has been there, because it’s your path and it’s your journey. So I strongly believe, that if I ask you what you truly want, most likely you would give the answer, right? But what if I would ask you; “Do you really concentrate just on you?” And the true answer you could give, once you get rid off of fears. Fears of being judged, fears of failure, or the feeling of being not worthy and so on. But you shouldn’t be scared of your own wishes. It’s your own life and you truly deserve to live the way you want. Be truthful to yourself, doesn’t mean you have to fit in with others. Fit with yourself first.

Understanding and following your own truth doesn’t need to fit in with someone else’s truth.

You are in power to control your mind

The triggers to think differently

Our thoughts trigger our emotions, and so most often, our emotions trigger our actions. Taken actions leads to the certain results. Or sometimes emotions trigger our thought, and so after we do take some actions, but either way our actions are triggered by any of them.

Imagine if you could control and shift your thoughts or emotions? And actually we can. Because the thought you have it’s a thought, it’s not you. So if we would take in control of our mind, the actions we take, would benefit us so much better. Isn’t it? It might sound that I am advising here to follow the mind better, but not the heart, but actually I mean exactly on the contrary. I actually mean – to follow your true self, but at the same time don’t follow your temper or your ego. Sometimes, or actually most of the times, our mind is “playing” games, sometimes even dangerous ones.

Your subconscious mind is playing “games”

I would say it is important to understand where some thoughts are coming from. I am sure you are familiar with conscious and subconscious mind, aren’t you? So I would say it’s a “game” between them two, but once we are aware of it, then we can pay attention to it and actually stop ourselves of taking some actions what might bring us unpleasant results.

Things “stuck’ in our minds

Once we recognize and become aware, that the thoughts we have is triggered by the things that happened in the past, or maybe it’s our ego talking, then it’s easier to understand, that we have the power to take in control of our thoughts. Subconscious mind is programmed with different things that happened in the past. Some not so pleasant things that “stuck” in our mind and if we are not aware of it, this may destroy our presence. If we follow them thoughts, if we concentrate on them, by thinking that this is the truth, then we end up by following the negative things and not the actual things we want.

It’s time to control your focus

Some memories are good, but some of them might be not so pleasant. Also we have subconscious mind which is programmed with different perceptions, the way we view the world or how we suppose to accept the situation or reality. It’s like when we follow certain rules without even thinking, because it looks the right thing to do. Or sometimes we may follow the rule, just because we did not viewed our inner treasures, things what we actually want.

What truth do you follow?

I do hear quite often: “No I can’t do this/ achieve it” or “It’s too difficult”. What ever we say out loud it becomes our truth and we believe it and we do follow this truth. If we say such words, we don’t give space other options to flow in. And there is always a chance that we possibly can. When we say we can’t we begin to believe that we actually can’t. Most times there is something behind this, something maybe hurtful or unpleasant what has happened in the past and our mind is trying to protect us from being hurt again.

Be aware of your thoughts

Do you allow your thought to control you?

Nevertheless, let’s not concentrate on the reason, but here we should concentrate and be aware that the thought we follow doesn’t benefit us. So what is the point to give our full attention to things, what makes us unhappy? Sometimes, even accidentally, we do concentrate on things what we actually don’t want, because we think about it so much more than about things what we want. Here our doubts and fear become so much stronger.

Example 1

Let’s say your wish is to start a relationship with someone, but you are scared of giving a try. Why? Because most likely you think – ”What if it won’t work?” So you accidentally focused on what you don’t want. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you concentrate if it does work? And so to put all the effort to work things out. The same way you choose to think ”What if it doesn’t work” you definitely can choose to think ”What if it does work”. It’s your option really. I know it sounds somehow, but all it is needed to do, just to give a permission to yourself. Permission to move forward your goal.

Example 2

Or maybe for example your heart has been broken by someone and you broke up and let’s say you both have decided just to go your own way. This was a decision you both have made. Sounds logical and you know that this is the agreement you both came up with. But let’s say deep down your heart is saying something different and so obviously your mind is full of memories and maybe some feelings for that person and if your heart triggers them memories to come up most likely you start thinking about this person sometimes, then more and more often and then you start missing the person, then you feel hurt. Then the feeling of sadness, maybe even anger and so on. So basically your almost full focus is about the person instead of thought to move on.

Give yourself a permission to move on

You don’t give a permission to yourself to move on, because actually, all you do is thinking of not how to move on, how to enjoy your precious moments in life, but the permission you give is to keep thinking about this person and that’s why it’s so difficult to move on.

Be grateful of what you have already

I know it may sound somehow, because it’s really difficult to think about something else when the feelings are involved, but if you truly have decided to move on, feel it. At least try to give a permission to think about something else. So what if we really focus on what we actually want. If you want more money be grateful what you have already. I am sure you have even one cent in your pocket right now. Means you do have money already.

I know it sounds maybe funny, but we are not talking about the amount you have. Also some people focus of being jealous, because someone else has more than he/she has. So again, instead of being focus on jealously, spending your time and energy on it, you could focus on yourself, your wishes and how to achieve it.

We can trick our mind

What we think it expands

And probably you also know that we can actually trick our mind. If we keep saying that we don’t have money, or that this relationship is not going to work, or maybe that I am not worthy of such beautiful relationship, this becomes true. But what if we allow ourselves to think other way round, that we do have the money, we do deserve to have this lovely relationship, then we definitely will attract more of it. What we think it expands.

Sure you may say that’s not possible, or things like that. But then think this way, what will you lose if you give a permission to yourself to feel the abundance, allow yourself to feel wealthy and worthy. It’s like dreaming about it, but in a way that you have it already and all you need is just to take it. You have it, it’s yours. Know it, feel it it’s yours. So in such way, we won’t feel the lack of it. This should give the feeling of peace and calmness, so then we won’t be focusing of not having it. 

Re – define your focus

Blurry and uncertain

So now let’s really think where is your focus? Is your focus on positive results or you are still focusing on something what you don’t have just yet? Many people can say, believe it will happen, or believe that you will achieve it. I think this saying sounds somehow blurry and uncertain. But this is only for me. Nevertheless, if it feels similar to you too, then try to tell yourself – “I know I will have it” or even better “I have it already, I just need to pick it up”.

Is it going to fail or win?

Re- defining your goal will really help to understand why you still haven’t achieved of what you want. It’s similar as if you are opening a business with the mind and feeling that it’s going to fail. So subconsciously your actions will be taken to fail it. In finding ways to succeed you most likely will find ways of how to crash it. I know you may say that obviously your focus is on things you want, but is it really? What most often do you think when the subject comes up? Are your doubts and fear come up more often then positive outcome? Yes I know, we kinda should have a plan B, but just watch yourself carefully on what plan you focus on more.

We actually can have what we want

Our dreams can be big

We actually can have what we want, but very often, I guess, we concentrate on things what we don’t want so much more often. I am sure there were times, when you were enjoying some even little things. Maybe you had a hobby, maybe most things you have tried were new to you and so full of excitement. So if you have lost that excitement, another ”tick” to apply a fresh start. I think the most common issue is that, either we don’t know what we want, or we are scared to realize that we want different things. Maybe even bigger than we can dream of. Maybe we are scared of criticism and other people’s opinion.

Do you chose your dreams or your doubts and fears?

Human wants to belong to certain group of society and very often we might be following the wrong path. Actually not the wrong, but the path what doesn’t belong to us. If so, then once again, it means that our doubts and fear are bigger than our dreams. So it’s your time really to ask yourself – if you rather chose to doubt and be scared, or if you chose to accomplish your dreams, your goals or just something what you have always wanted to have. Also I would like to remind, that what ever you don’t know today, it doesn’t mean you can not learn tomorrow. So yes, we can have what we want, but first think very well what’s your goal and know that yes, you have it already.

Create little steps forward

How to reach and achieve it – just allow to flow in. Make a plan, create little steps and have the big vision. We shouldn’t avoid of dreaming big. We learn during the process, but if we never start, we won’t learn. I am sure your intuition, your inner you is already telling you all this so now it’s time to step in things what really make you feel happy. The step no need to be big as long as it is taken. Even small step forward is still heading towards your dreams. Life is kinda too short, not to live life the way we want.


  1. Define or re – define what you want and where your focus is.
  2. Your dreams don’t have to fit in with other people’s dreams.
  3. Give yourself a permission to follow your own path.
  4. You can achieve what you want if you truly focus on what you want, but not your fears.
  5. Take actions towards your real feelings and your goals, because the happy mood won’t last long so better act fast.

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